The Singing Shadowhunters
by Bremond
Summary: When Alec starts singing Eye of the Tiger, you know something's very, very wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Clary sat on the couch in the Institute's library, deep in a book. It had been a quiet day at the Institute; her training was going well, and she'd only stabbed Jace accidentally eight times so far, which was good in her book.

Just then the doors slammed open.

Both Clary and Jace looked up at once, startled, as Alec stumbled into the room.

Jace got to his feet instantly. "Alec–,"

Alec staggered in, his eyes wild. He was trembling from head to toe. He grabbed Jace by the collar. "I– I can't keep going, I can't–,"

Jace took his friend by the shoulders, face deeply concerned. "What's wrong? What happened?"

A spasm went through Alec and he dropped to his knees, his pale face a mask of horror. "I – can't–,"

The room was plunged very suddenly into darkness.

Clary looked around the blackness in confusion and terror. What was going on?

A spotlight clicked on out of nowhere.

A single beam of white light spotlighted Alec, who stood with his back to them in the middle of the library's floor, standing still as a statue. Clary looked on in complete bafflement.

All of a sudden music blasted from nowhere, and Alec spun in a perfect circle to face them with one hand pointed in their direction. His outfit had somehow changed to a striped orange and black cut-off open at the neck– Clary stared on in fascinated horror– 80s clothes?

The electric guitar blasted from nowhere, all at once. Alec spread his feet and clapped his hands in an unmistakable move from the 80s. Alec began to sing then, the opening words to Eye of the Tiger.

Clary and Jace's mouths fell open at the same time.

Alec, Clary admitted with detached amazement, was an incredible singer.

The song went on, blasted through hidden speakers, as Alec danced and sung with a red spotlight trained on him. Mist, turned red in the spotlight, curled at Alec's feet. He spun and threw his hands out as the chorus came.

Clary and Jace slowly looked at each other. Clary saw her own bafflement reflected in his eyes.

"Alec can dance," Clary said, not sure if she should be terrified or impressed. Jace nodded weakly.

The two of them watched until the song ended. Alec finished with a flourish, and the spotlight flicked off, throwing the room back into darkness. And then the light came back on, and they saw Alec standing there, back in his usual black sweater and jeans, his face contorted in terror.

"I just sung Eye of the Tiger," he mouthed.

"And it was... impressive," Jace said slowly.

Clary nodded.

"What's going on?" Jace asked. "Alec, what happened?"

"I don't know," Alec whispered. He sunk down into an armchair. Clary and Jace hurried to him.

Alec sat there, staring at a spot on the wall, his eyes wide. "I don't know what happened. I was fighting this vampire, and then..."

He shook his head slowly, obviously still in a state of shock.

"What happened, Alec?" Jace prodded gently.

Alec turned to stare at Jace. "We started singing," he said.

Clary shared a look with Jace.

"You started singing," Clary repeated.

Alec nodded blankly. "The vampire and I. It was... it was Miley Cirus."

Clary gasped.

Jace looked horrified. "_No._"

"I don't know why, or how," Alec said. "We just stared _singing_. It was horrible. So horrible."

"But that's not all, is it?" Clary whispered.

Alec shook his head. "No," he whispered. "On the way here I sung a song from Glee."

"Which one?" Jace asked.

"Does it matter?" Alec said, his voice hoarse. "They're all so horrible."

Jace put a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Alec."

Alec buried his face in his hands. It was very unlike Alec to get so upset about anything, which meant this was a very, very bad thing indeed.

"But is it just you?" Clary asked. "No one else is–,"

The doors slammed open.

Isabelle strode in, singing the last part of Uptown Girls, accompanied by more music from nowhere. She danced in with great ability, and stopped with a great flourish.

The music died and she let her hands fall to her side. She stared at them, her dark eyes huge. "What the _hell _was that?"

"You tell us," said Jace, whose eyes were just as huge.

Isabelle walked in somewhat unsteadily, her hair all over the place. "Oh God, you won't believe what's going on out there– it's like some kind of warped Glee episode–,"

"Is it demons?" said Jace.

Isabelle looked doubtful. "It seems a little strange for a demon."

"Maybe it's a curse," Clary suggested. "An especially powerful warlock cursed this part of New York."

"Not forever," said Jace, looking absolutely horrified.

"We'll have to move the Institute," Alec said.

"Or we just find the warlock," Clary said.

"No, it is _not _me," Magnus said. "If it was, nobody would be singing Cream."

"Say it _was _you," Jace prodded.

"Madonna, The Doors," said Magnus. "End of story."

He slammed the door shut.

The four Shadowhunters walked onto the street. Clary was getting more and more nervous– both Alec and Isabelle had already broken out into song, and they'd passed countless people singing and dancing on the street. How long would it be before she, too, was a victim? And what would she sing? Hopefully not something embarrassing.

She stopped in her tracks, feeling as if invisible hands had jerked her to a stop.

Jace turned. "Clary?"

She only had time to shriek, "_Help me!_" before the music started.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.

"I must have died and gone to heaven," Clary sung against her will, "cause it was a quarter past eleven– on a Saturday night in 1999."

Jace, Isabelle, and Alec stared at her.

She couldn't control it. She didn't understand where this voice was coming from, or where the awful, humiliating outfit had, and she wished she would stop dancing, but some outside force was controlling her completely.

She danced past Isabelle, trying desperately to reach out and grab at her, but her arms wouldn't work. The music blared in the background, horrible, absolutely horrible, and her voice rose up out of nowhere, a voice that could never have come out of her throat and yet was still hers.

"Cosmic Girl," Jace said. There was pity in his voice, but there was also amusement. Clary felt like punching him in the nose.

Clary struggled through every humiliating moment until finally it was over. Her clothes came back instantly and she almost toppled over, but Isabelle steadied her with a hand on her shoulder.

Clary saw the grin about to break free on Jace's face and saw the great, deep pity on Alec's face. Isabelle just looked grim.

"Wait till it happens to you," Clary snapped at Jace.

"So it is demons," said Alec.

"Well," said Jace, his eyebrows furrowed as he slipped his Sensor back into his pocket, "there's a lot of demon activity around people who are singing, so I'd say so."

They surveyed the terrified-looking FedEx guy for a while as he danced around, singing Can't Buy Me Love.

"But we still have to find the demon," Isabelle said.

"I think I have a rune for that," Clary announced. She produced her stele from her pocket and bent down on the pavement to carve the rune into the ground. After she was done she stood up, satisfied. They waited as the rune smoldered on the asphalt.

A Big Mac appeared in Alec's hand. He stared at it, alarmed.

"Oh, oops," she said, embarrassed. "That was the rune for instantly summoning a Big Mac. Let me try again."

This time the rune smoldered and glowed faintly with a white light. The whole world suddenly drained of all color and a trail of golden light appeared, leading from the confused FedEx guy and around a corner until it disappeared from sight.

"Wow," Isabelle said.

"Come on, it won't last forever," said Clary.

The four Shadowhunters took off down the street, following the trail of light.

It wound through the streets, branching off here and there to rest upon singing and dancing people. They followed it for a good twenty minutes before it stopped very suddenly at what looked to be an abandoned townhouse. The color came back to the world. Jace went and kicked down the door, breaking the boards that had nailed it shut, and they went inside. Clary wondered when _she _was going to get to kick down some doors.

The inside was dusty and empty. Dim evening sunlight shone through the cracks in the boarded-up window; there was only one piece of furniture in the place, and that was a dusty old armchair on which sat a lady in leather clothing.

"_Madonna_?" Clary exclaimed.

The woman looked up. She gave them a perfect Madonna smile and stood up. "Oh no, I'm not Madonna. This is simply the form in which I am currently residing. Any musician will do– however, I prefer her over the others."

They drew their weapons. The light from their seraph blades cut strange shadows across the half-lit room– the Madonna-demon looked eerie in the white light.

"Do you really want to kill me?" Madonna said calmly. "All I'm doing is bringing music and joy to the people of New York! Is that such a crime?"

"You made me sing Cosmic Girl," Clary said through her teeth.

Madonna fluttered her eyelashes. "Oh, but, my dear, you were so lovely singing it."

"Somebody kill her," Clary said bluntly.

"Glad to," Alec said grimly, his bow strung and aimed right at Madonna's head.

Madonna smirked. "But can you kill me while you're..._dancing_?"

The unmistakable intro of Material Girl rose up out of nowhere.

"I hate this song," Isabelle said in revulsion.

"That's _too bad,_" Madonna said gleefully. "You have no choice!"

The four of them started to dance– and Clary had the misfortune of singing the lead part. She figured Alec and Jace were none too happy about their background vocals, and she knew Isabelle was not having fun dancing in the background.

As they sang and danced against their will, Madonna shrieked with mad laughter. Clary saw her eyes glint a luminescent green.

Somewhere in the midst of the chorus Clary shared a glance with Jace.

As soon as the song ended, they'd finish her.

When the song finally faded into silence, Jace pulled two glowing seraph blades from nowhere and flung them through the air. They flashed through the dusty darkness and impaled themselves right into the chest of the Madonna-demon.

She staggered backward.

"_No,_" the demon hissed, showing pointed teeth and a snakelike tongue. She snarled at them, teeth bared. Blood and ichor was quickly spreading across the scaly grey skin of her chest; though the demon still wore the pointed Madonna brazier. Clary felt a deep shudder. That would live on in her nightmares for a while.

"_I will be back,_" the demon hissed. "_You have thwarted me for now, Shadowhunters, but I shall be back. And when I am, none shall be safe from my vengeance!_"

She was looking right at Jace as she said it. With a last shriek the demon exploded in a pillar of green fire. And then she was gone, leaving only the brazier behind.

A long silence passed.

"We'll burn that when we get home," Isabelle said.


	2. Chapter 2

Clary and Jace sat in the Institute's library. Despite being plagued with Madonna-filled nightmares, Clary was feeling fine, and everything was back to normal.

Clary sat in the wide armchair by the fireplace.

"I'm hungry," Jace announced from his place on the sofa.

"Cheeseburger?" Clary asked, taking out her stele.

"Yes, please."

She drew the rune into the arm of the chair. A writhing python appeared out of nowhere, wrapped around Jace's neck. He gagged and fell to his knees. "_Not– a– cheeseburger–,_" he gasped.

"Sorry!" Clary said, hastily undoing the rune. The python disappeared and Jace fell to his hands and knees, gasping.

"I can never get that one right," Clary apologized.

"No worries," Jace said breathlessly, massaging his throat.

Just then the doors of the library opened and Simon walked in, carrying a rolled up newspaper.

"Hey, Simon," said Clary. "Where's Maia?"

"Oh, she's at some werewolf thing," said Simon, coming to sit beside Jace on the sofa. "Come look at this."

Clary stood up and leaned over Simon's shoulder at the newspaper. Jace leaned over to look too, still rubbing at his neck.

"'_Vampires kill Stephanie Meyer– about time_'?" Clary said, looking at one of the headlines.

"No, not that one," said Simon.

"'_Poll says: Clary should stop making new runes for everything'_?" Jace read.

Clary looked at him. "That's in there?"

"No, no," Simon said. He pointed to one of the headlines. "Look: '_Valentine sighted in Times Square singing Walk Like An Egyptian.'_"

Clary read the caption beneath the very disturbing picture: "_'Thought-to-be-gone-forever evil psychopath sighted in Times Square last night singing and dancing to old 80s song. Clave baffled.'_"

"Oh no," Clary breathed, looking up at Jace.

"This is awful," he said.

"The Madonna demon is back," Clary said in horror.

Simon looked at them, bewildered. "I sort of thought you'd be worried, seeing as _Valentine is back._"

"We have to stop this before it starts again," Jace said.

"It's too late," said Clary.

"There's no time to lose," Jace said.

They both got to their feet and started toward the library doors.

Simon stood up. "Guys! Valentine is _back!_"

"No time to talk now, Simon!" Clary said over her shoulder. "We've got a Madonna demon to destroy!"

An hour or so later Clary and Jace stood in the midst of a bustling Times Square.

"It's too quiet," Jace murmured.

Clary looked around anxiously. But nothing seemed out of the ordinary– no people breaking spontaneously into song and definitely no Valentine singing Walk Like An Egyptian.

There was a break in the crowd and the Madonna demon appeared, smiling at them.

"There she is!" Clary yelled.

"Fools!" the demon cackled, melting out from the crowd to stand before them. They both drew their weapons. "Can you not see you have fallen right into my trap?"

"What?" said Clary.

Madonna threw back her head and laughed. "Ha! Valentine is not back, you fools! But _I _am!"

The world was thrown very suddenly into pitch blackness.

The only thing Clary could hear was her own ragged breathing. She turned around wildly in the darkness. "Jace? Jace, where–,"

The world was illuminated suddenly.

Clary turned, slowly.

Her mouth dropped open.

About two thousand people stood before her, lined up neatly in the expanse of Times Square. The lightning was eerie, greyish, and there were fake tombstones everywhere. The hundreds of people that had previously been dressed in suits and ties and jeans and t-shirts now wore ripped, ragged clothing and had zombie makeup.

Jace stood in the front, posed, dressed in a tight-fitting red jacket with black stripes across the front. He looked at her with eyes shadowed by extreme makeup.

Clary stared in horror as two thousand people moved in one motion, and Jace clapped his hands:

"It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurkin' in the dark," he said, in a disturbingly perfect imitation of Michael Jackson, "under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart– you try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it–," here he spun and posed with one hand in the air, "you're paralyzed!"

Clary took a staggering step back.

"Cause this is Thriller, thriller night..."

Everything was scarily perfect– the moves, the voice, the music– even the rows upon rows of makeuped zombies behind Jace...

Clary jerked toward Jace, taking him by the collar. "_Jace! Jace, snap out of it!" _

He danced aside, mirrored by the backup dancers behind him.

Clary turned, knowing this was a hopeless cause, and saw the Madonna demon leaning against a bike rack. She laughed madly. "HA! Your boyfriend does a wonderful impression of Michael Jackson!"

Clary shuddered deep inside. She took a breath and pointed her seraph blade at the laughing demon. "You've gone too far."

Madonna cackled insanely. "Have I?"

"Stop this!" Clary yelled. "Stop this insanity! Leave us be!"

The demon smiled in a twisted way. "And how will you stop me?"

"I'll give you a taste of your own medicine," Clary growled. She bent down and scrawled a rune into the ground.

Madonna's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What are you–,"

Madonna stopped dead, her eyes growing as wide as saucers.

"_NO! NO!" _she shrieked, but the music was already starting up. "I never actually liked her _MUSIC!_"

But she had no choice.

"Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're okay," she sung, her eyes wide and bloodshot as she danced around against her will.

Material Girl clashed badly with Thriller, but luckily Thriller was almost over. Clary watched the demon dancing around smugly.

Thriller ended and the world went black for just a moment. When it came back, Times Square had returned to normal. None of the mundanes seemed to recall what had happened– they returned, oblivious, to what they were doing.

Clary went over to Jace, who stood, unsteady, his face pale.

"You okay?" Clary asked.

He looked down at his clothes and breathed a long sigh of relief. He looked up and smiled, his eyes still a little wide. "Just glad that's over."

His eyes drifted to the Madonna demon, who was still singing Material Girl. None of the mundanes seemed to take any notice.

"Should I kill her?" said Jace. "Once and for all?"

"Go for it."

Jace flung the seraph blade through the air and it sliced into the demon's chest. Still singing, the demon burst into flame and disappeared, Jace's seraph blade falling to the pavement.

"Thank God that's over," Clary said.

Jace nodded his agreement.

"Okay, thanks Raziel," said Clary.

The angel nodded and disappeared in a flash of white light.

Clary walked down the hallway and into the library. Jace sat on one of the couches, reading a book, humming.

He looked up. "Did it work?"

"Yep," said Clary. She sat down beside him tiredly. "Raziel is going to banish the Madonna demon forever into a hell dimension. There's no way she'll ever get out again."

Jace nodded, relieved.

They sat in silence for awhile.

Clary twirled her stele between her fingers and slowly looked up at Jace.

He met her eyes. His eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"Hm, nothing," said Clary, absently tracing her newest rune through the air.

Jace returned to his book.

"Heh heh heh," Clary said.

He looked up suspiciously. "What?"

"Nothing."


End file.
